Where Do We Go from Here?

The patterns in our lives will sometimes lead us into difficult decisions and consequences, costing repeated failure. We all want to find the right direction in our lives. When obstacles deter us from the right path, it becomes challenging, especially in family and romantic relationships. Many people become badly affected, making it hard to overcome the scars that have been embedded in us. How do you manage to overcome the obstacles of a dysfunctional life since childhood? Experience the life that I endured and you will experience the ups and downs and comedic adventures that went full circle. This is a true story that contains heartbreak, sadness, desperation and inspiration all in one. It also contains healing, motivation and lessons learned. It's a story of passion, drive and endurance. The situations surrounding me were unstable which led to bad choices and difficult challenges. Yet, through the turmoil and challenges that felt at many times like an uphill battle, I found laughter, resilience and strength. This book shares the ways I found to overcome the obstacles and to lead others to make the right decisions so they will not suffer the scars like I did. The patterns I lived led to dysfunction in family and relationships. I dealt with a life of alcoholism, molestation, domestic violence, abandonment and homelessness. Many of the situations I faced were out of my control. I felt like an only child growing up and had to fend for myself time and time again. I was emotionally broken-hearted, distressed and alone. All I ever wanted was to lead a normal life and know what it felt like to love and be loved in a healthy way. Despite the struggles, I was able to escape them through career passions, especially as I found myself in the entertainment industry.While I yearned for a normal life, I discovered my passion for the stage. It's a place where I received recognition, felt a sense of accomplishment, and it was one of the few places where I experienced acceptance. When I married, I thought my life was finally going to be normal, free from the dysfunctional childhood of my past. Not quite. My married life was every bit dysfunctional as my childhood. The familiarity of a crazed family followed me through three bad marriages--from a gay husband to a sociopath narcissistic husband to an alcoholic and abusive husband. I was never taught to see the signs or hear the words of warning that would later lead to horrific toxic relationships. Why? Because my childhood was toxic and I was so familiar with instability that it felt natural to me. In time, I dealt with the issues and overcame the obstacles, which as I look back, amaze me because no matter how dysfunctional life had been, I was determined to keep going. My goal in life is to love and be loved. That has never changed.I am the mother of an incredible kid. I have to give myself credit because for everything I have been through, I knew that I did not want my child to ever follow an unfit pattern of dysfunction. I consider myself a good mother and I worked so hard to make sure things went right for my child. Sadly, divorce and poor choices threw a wrench in my livelihood and my son was forced to grow up faster than I planned. With that said, it now brings me back to my life growing up. My father was a stockbroker on Wall Street with the New York Stock Exchange. Through the years, he had many different job careers. He was loyal and worked hard to support his wife and family. He was a kind man filled with integrity, who enjoyed a good time and a good stiff drink. He looked and acted like Red Skelton. He had a great sense of humor that would make you laugh. Many times, my father wasn't trying to be funny but the situations that my father would get himself into would make you laugh so hard your belly would hurt; which would cause my father to laugh right along with you. On the other hand, my father also had the personality of Archie Bunker. He was old fashioned and set in