The Seven T's

The death of a loved one is always painful and the grieving process complex and profound. Yet when the loss occurs under tragic circumstances, there is a whole other set of emotional variables that the people left behind must face. Questions abound, such as "Could I have stopped this?" Feelings of guilt, shame, and even anger combine with the overwhelming sadness of losing someone who was dearly loved. Drawing on her own experience of losing her son to suicide, as well as her conversations with hundreds of people who have grieved the tragic death of a friend or family member, revered singer-songwriter Judy Collins has culled together seven powerful steps toward healing. The Seven T's are:

TRUTH: Tell it. Regardless of how terrible the facts may be and how hard it is to talk about, don't hide the truth about how you lost the person you loved. TRUST: Allow it. Don't let the painful circumstances surrounding the death of your loved one prevent you from talking with friends about your loss.
THERAPY: Get it. Seek help-whether through traditional talk therapy, your art, meditation, or whatever method you choose-but get the help you need.
TREASURE: Hold on. Don't stop treasuring your loved one. Don't let the horrible events leading to his or her death wash away all of the things that were good and beautiful about that person's life.
THRIVE: Keep living with your eyes wide open. Don't give in to the temptation to use alcohol or any other addiction to blunt or blur your sadness.
TREAT: Be kind to yourself. Give yourself the gift of self-nourishment.
TRIUMPH: You must. Live a life of joy, abundance, and forgiveness.

From a woman famous for her wisdom and compassion, The Seven T's is destined to become a classic on the subject of grieving and loss.