The Malakiad

"If you take a dash of Mark Twain, a large glug of Terry Pratchett, and add them to a base of Homer, then you'd have a rather disgusting and illegal cocktail. What you would get metaphorically is Gustavo Bondoni's The Malakiad."
Carl R. Jennings, Author of Just About Anyone

It is time to rejoin our hero.

And even though you don't know this hero (we promise, you don't), so begins the epic story The Malakiad, a tale so grand it takes many years, several continents, detailed mythologies, and a smattering of religions to tell. A tale so outlandish it hasn't been remembered because it wasn't deemed important to do so. And a tale so confusing its chronicler might regret having labored to recount it without finding a more, um, prominent publisher to release it.

To wit, the Mykonean ambassador Mansour, fat, stupid, and asleep with his face in a soup bowl, has learned the legendary Golden Malak is real, and he's come to Elenia's palace, not just to sleep in the soup, but to embark on an expedition to find the great golden rod that contains the Elixir of Life. Elenia, a beautiful and powerful warrior princess, and Kopulus, the overwhelmingly great yet underwhelmingly immortalized Grecian hero, are game, and their adventure begins when they set off for Mount Olympus, taking an escaped slave, Leandrus, along with them.

Their journey will not be easy, marred by run-ins with a flying chariot and a confused guard dog, not to mention the pirates, camels, and various angry gods and said gods' worshipers. Even a pink sea serpent finds his way into the story. But how else are they supposed to get to Africa and find the god what stole the Malak from its rightful (if not mythical) owner and claim it as their own?

Wait... Don't answer that.

Homer had the Iliad... Virgil had the Aeneid... Anna had the Alexiad...

...and now Bondoni has The Malakiad.

"The Malakiad is a clever, engaging, humorous delight."
A.E. Kincaid, Author of The Demon, the Hero, and the City of Seven