365 Quotes for a Daily Dose of Dry Humor

Satirical quotes for every dayWhether in everyday life or on special events: An appropriate quote can save any situation and provide new momentum. How-ever, if you want to stand out from the crowd and show character, you need to demonstrate originality. My suggestion: humor. Brutal-ly truthful and slightly mean humor, to be precise. Instead of tor-menting your fellow human beings with corny positive banter, you can turn the tables and hand out a few snappy sayings.Dry humor disguised as original quotesAn atrocious quip at the right time invigorates every relationship, shakes things up and creates a new perspective. It's not about of-fending the other person (at least not permanently), but solely about the surprising impulse and the shared joy of a little blunt-ness.The ultimate collection of satirical quotesThe quotes in this book come from writers, politicians, scientists, actors, artists and other important personalities. In short: from suc-cessful people who have achieved great things and developed a passion for sarcastic remarks and subtle jibes. I would like to pass this curious collection on to you.A cheeky quote every dayIn this book, each day of the year has its own quote. Although I have assigned each quote to a specific date, this does not mean that you have to follow my pre-selection. You can read the book in a criss-cross fashion and remind yourself of your favorite sayings over and over again. I have also categorized the quotes themati-cally so that you can quickly find the most (in)appropriate words for special occasions such as birthdays, weddings or family celebra-tions.A little foretaste15th January:"An intelligent man sometimes needs to be drunk to spend time with idiots."- Ernest Hemingway11th February:"In old age, children are a comfort as long as they don't come to visit you."- Sarah Bernhardt18th March:"You never know what's going to happen in this world. I'll just keep my mouth shut. That's a good idea."- Gertrude Stein1st April:"In our time there is a lot of talk about irony and humor, especially by people who have never been able to practice it."- Søren Kierkegaard4th May:"There may be better air in heaven, but there is certainly better company in hell."- George Bernard Shaw27th June:"There are many people I would like to miss right now."- Tomi Ungerer4th July:"The men of today are also no longer what they have never been."- Kylie Minogue6th August:"Digging a pit for others is exhausting, but it almost always pays off."- David Herbert Lawrence26th September:"The best proof of knowledge of human nature is quiet homicidal desires."- Frank Sinatra20th October:"Silent people become even more boring when they start talking."- Jane Austen15th November:"Gloating is a never-ending source of strength and serenity."- Frank Billings Kellogg24th December:"A family reunion is not only the fault of those who host it, but also of those who do not prevent it."- Karl KrausAlways a proper saying on handIn this book 365 mean quotes are waiting for you so that you can pick up a new dose of dry humor and quick wit every day. The next time you want to "surprise" your partner, have a ready saying for your colleague at the office, or you need a little cheering up your-self, you can open this treasure trove of quotes, read a few lines and then hit the ground running with new energy.